stuck in a fool's riddle

I found myself in a world where i was alone. A place where there was no floor. Yet there must be a floor, or else what could it be that i was on? It felt as though i was merely floating, there was no shadow, but then again, there was no light. I was huddled in darkness. Perhaps I was blind, or i could be lying inside a coffin. I found that thought funny, till i noticed that there were puddles forming. As though the floor(or what passed for the floor) was bleeding. And balm to my eyes came, the puddles had colour. Being stuck in a world of black, colour was a salvation. Finally i realized where i was. a dream.

then came a mop from above. perhaps i was meant to sweep the puddles. could it be that i was waiting for someone? i suddenly had a feeling of anticipation for someone, as though i was a student forced to clean the hallways before the headmaster descended through the flight of stairs. And my fun and imaginative spirit awoke within me. looking down at the mop which had lazily floated down to my feet, I raised my right hand over it and raised my voice to the heavens, "UP!"

nothing, snapping around to make sure nobody was present to see that, i picked up the mop by hand. And i began to mop the closest puddle of scarlet red. wait a moment, where am i supposed to mop the puddle to? oh what a chore. there was no way to get rid of the coloutful puddles at this rate. giving up, i flopped to a pool of deepest blue.

and an idea struck, i quickly got up to my feet and flourished my mop. looking at my now radiating magenta mophead, i started to paint. a dash here, a touch of gravy orange there, a cocktail of pink, green and yellow, and to top it off, a splatter of vanilla white. I stood towering over my handiwork, a picture of me.

but something amazingly distracting happened. The picture started to change. the colours themselves were moving, shades were changing. all before my eyes. 'now this wont do.' I thought to myself. And mop in hand, i went back to forcing the paint to obey me. but it seemed every time i finish my work, the painting would start to change again. an endless struggle with the puddles of paint which i had decorated myself.

finally, i realised what was happening, the painting wasn't changing. In fact, it was I that was changing. In my rush to paint a reflection of myself, I had forgot that i am the one constantly changing. constantly growing, constantly adapting, constantly moving on.

upon realising my folly, i decided it was time to leave, taking one last glance back at my painting, i realised that i could no longer recognize myself in it, yet i knew it was still me in that painting.

i was the one that was moving, the one who was asking questions, the one that should get out of this dream.

No man steps into the same river twice. For it is not the same river and he is not the same man

My name's going into some booklet they're giving out in my camp. and apparently i had to answer afew questions.

which superhero power would you like to have?
jumper

which actress would you like to be?
emma watson, though it was a tough fight with ellen page - juno

which food best describes you?
caviar - lovely, i don't even know what it is.

drats, forgot what the last one was. but anyway, I doubt caviar describes m, but i didn't want to use anything that was too silly, imagine me saying tea bags.

today i decided to do some running.

strange, i'd have thought you'd had enough of running ever since you spent seventeen days on an island.
so i decided to go for a jog okay.

i came across a point where the road began to steepen up, thinking that it's enough of jogging, i turned back and made my way home.
until a thought came,
'you're already halfway there, why turn back now?'
true, it would be the same distance if i were to go back the way i came.

so i admit, i had a feeling, a sense of purpose. and so i decided to pursue that flighty temptress
adventure.

so then it was a nice path, until at one moment i thought of another thing, what time was it? I started somewhere at six, probably took half an hour, so what if the night fell? would I be able to get back home? and where in the world was i? kinda lost my gauge of where my house was. i guessed i should've taken the path back, even though it would be long. i guess in such a situation where sunlight was slowly fading i should go the way which had lights. maybe you would have done that. but hey, it must be those man vs wild shows i've been watching,
cause i never turned back.

perhaps it was the loss of the sunlight's warmth, my head started to hurt. always happens when i run in the cold. strange thing it, it made me sweat more. then i had another thought, but i wont share that, it's another thing i'm probably gonna keep to myself.

adventure has a way of exciting you, i love that feeling. so much that at nights, instead of walking home, i'll sprint my way home. jumping over benches and hedges, navigating my way under blocks. for that moment, it's great.

which is why i love scenes in movies where people run.

it's the pursuit of a trill.

what we both fear.


it was a quiz that was where my boredom led me to. my true intention was to find out questions on 'are you smarter than a fifth grader' and i chanced upon a quiz on what your greatest fear was. did it, and by some way they calculated my answers, it said my greatest fear was being alone.

half true, i hate being alone.. for one with personalities, i am complicated. but back to it, i doubt that's what i fear the most.

what i fear is one day waking up finding that i can't remember doing anything meaningful, finding out that i've passed through years without knowing it.

i hate wastage, I plan two alarms, one an hour before it's time to wake up. just so i'd be awake for awhile and get to experience time passing through me. it's scary to sleep when you are afraid the next time you wake up will be years later, and the whole world has changed but you.

thought about this for quite some time, especially when i heard a quote, kinda forgot where it came from, think clockwork orange. but anyway,

You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way,you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today; And then one day you find, ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run you missed the starting gun.

ever wore a mask?


I guess...

i'm getting soft.




oh hahahahaha..

a true test of patience.

a real step of faith.


there's no holding back,
it's a commitment
and there's no way to turn back.


i've made my choice.

all in.

have you ever?


walked down east coast parkway in the evening?


all the way till the next day?

have you ever?

woke up to the smell of the jungle?
to a really bad cramp.
in the twilight moments,
let your mind slowing notice the surroundings.
and find that what you've been sleeping on is a totally uneven ground?

have you ever?
wondered why you were out sleeping in the middle of a field with two hundred other men?
felt yourself wishing you could talk to someone special?
wished that you could meet up soon?


and lastly,
-one which i loved, not because of the imagery of it, but because it is so special to me.

have you ever...
saw your own shadow cast by the moonlight?



But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.

have you ever?



felt how it was like in a free fall?

jumped off a building and went head-first straight to ground zero at dead drop speed.


no strings attached yeah!


felt the blood rush to your head.
the adrenaline pumping.
have the wind billowing at your face.
your lungs drawing less air every feet closer to the ground.
reach a height of euphoria before you hit.


nothing in aggressive inline would come close to this.

love


whilst waiting for the uefa champions to secure their place as champions, i was happily watching the guardian. but anw, among all that stuff, someone said something harsh.

'love is blind'


now now, let us examine that statement for awhile.
and let me bring you to the far flung reaches of my fantasy.


i remember once while i was in infantry school, i was using the toilet, beside my best friend i got to know since the start. and on those urinals, they usually put these little quotes to encourage you. mine read,

" love is not about finding the perfect person, but seeing the imperfections on the special person, and loving her."


and it is true. love isn't blind, a person in love will be able to see the darker parts of the person who holds a special place in his heart, and still love that person.

said i to my friend, 'even if your girlfriend snores, it'll be music to your ears'
'even if she has BO, you'll be addicted to the smell'

and we laughed about it.
-but don't think i don't know that you probably told your girlfriend that when it was night time-
hahaha

anw,
my reply,
with a smile

'love never fails'